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Attraction. So the whole point of one person being attracted to another is nothing but physical. Hold on girl, wait, before you tell me that you like a guy because he has a great sense of humour, let me tell you this: Was he making a joke when you first laid eyes on him?

Girls always have the same ol bullshit about whom they want to date-“Oh he should be tall, good looking and have a great sense of humour.” Meh. Most guys who have a great sense of humour look like me. Fat chance, ladies.

Now I know I am no Mitch Hedberg but I do have a great sense of humour. So One out of Three isn’t a bad score, is it? But of course as much as I state my odds on this matter, it is what we call a lost cause. Girls do not fall for guys like me, simply cause of our understanding of attractive people.

You could have the biggest jerk in the room but a very Clooneyesque looking one, and I can guarantee he has a better chance than a big bearded fat bloke with a stained Pink Floyd t-shirt, but a heart of gold (No ladies, I ain’t talking about myself, my Floyd tee is never stained)

But I don’t blame you ladies for acting this way, guys are even worse. She can be a bitch of the first order and even sometimes the second, but if she fancies your palate, and let me make this very clear, we usually have a very shallow one, you are going in to get some for yourself and even seconds.

This though will be later discussed with mates as something that you had no intention of, but it was the situation that made you fuck a 200 ton hippopotamus. That, or simply deny that any sex is….well you get the picture and I don’t mean one of fucking a hippopotamus.

As for as far dating is concerned, we all look for something stable. You’ll never want to date a one-night, frankly because you know it’s a one night. But then if you were the one-night as well, so why should the other sex date you?

In all fairness, I am not a guru in these matters but as everybody else, I too have an opinion on it. So, shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say. Oh ok, just carry reading on, then…

Girls and Boys, we have come to stage where we are attracted to each other……wait, there is no stage and there is no truth about whatever I have said. We are simply attracted because we are attracted. Call it whatever you bloody like as long as this article makes you think I am sexy ( for the ladies only )